Match
reports
Hertfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Berkshire, Essex, Surrey,
Dorset, Hampshire, Worcestershire, Nottinghamshire, Derbyshire,
Bedfordshire, Somerset, Jersey…. Add to that list
‘Norfolk’, as the Cavaliers kicked off their
2007 Tour to Norwich with a fixture against Tas Valley &
Hethersett CC in the village of Flordon.
With skipper Nick Brindley unable to join the tour until
the first evening, and a very hungover Vice Captain Lance
Boyd-Clarke stuck in traffic, the toss was done over the
phone. Feeling that they had a strong batting line-up, the
Cavs opted to have first dibs on the artificial wicket,
with the torrential rain of recent weeks unfortunately preventing
the game being held on what looked to be a lovely square.
Charged with the responsibility of getting the Cavs’
tour off to a flier were fifth year blonde bombshells Jim
Handford and Ellis Thorpe, aka Joe Bugner and Graham Norton.
And indeed they did, Handford looking in particularly aggressive
mood, clearly unused to having to channel his tour energy
on the pitch rather than off it. However, just as the partnership
passed 60 and Handford seemed set to go on to a big score,
he holed out at backward point, bringing the evergreen Simon
Foster to the crease. However, no sooner had this normally
dependable middle-order lynchpin got started was he sent
back to pavilion, the victim of Thorpe’s predilection
for running out his partners. Foster wouldn’t be the
last to suffer from Thorpe’s disco feet throughout
the afternoon.
In at 4 was Fraser Tant, unusually high in the order and
soon to demonstrate exactly why his rightful position is
a few places lower. Just 4 runs later, Tant miscued an attempted
pull and top edged to an ageing midwicket who wasn’t
to make the same mistake he made the over before in giving
Foster a life. Gareth Lloyd replaced him, and seemed to
be just getting his eye in before suffering the same fate
as Foster and falling to victim to Ellis “Yes-No-Sorry”
Thorpe. Nick Francis came in and was there celebrate his
cousin Thorpe’s 50, but soon was clean bowled for
4. By the time recently-arrived aussie Boyd-Clarke came
in at 7, the Cavs were teetering with little over 100 on
the board, 5 wickets down and a bit of a tail to follow.
Boyd-Clarke, however, is made for this kind of situation.
Many are the times when a gutsy, aggressive and chanceless
50 from LBC have taken the cavaliers from a precarious position
to the box seat…. Not a great time for him to play
all round a straight one and register his first ever duck
for the Cavaliers, then.
Worse was to come with Tim Foster came and went, called
through for a suicidal run by Thorpe having faced just one
ball. It was hard to tell which Foster brother was most
upset by their cheeky teammate, but needless to say Thorpe
can forget about having Christmas dinner round and Jon and
Jill’s this year. Perhaps the shame of running out
the Cavs very own Phil and Grant Mitchell’s affected
Elbow, who was bowled soon after for an important 71.
Jim Burton is a man of extremes. One minute morose, the
next high on life. His innings tend to be swashbuckling
heroics (reference Cavs v Shipton 1999, Cavs v Hatfield
2004), or ducks (reference 11 ducks in 33 innings). We can
now add Cavs v Tas Valley & Hethersett to this collection.
Tim Firmin was next in, the model of defence at one end
while last man Ben Rankin, eventually deigning to bat despite
being listed at number 7 in the book, opened his little
shoulders with a couple of huge sixes and amassed 22 that
took the Cavaliers to a respectable 168 all out, Firmin
the not out batsman. Again. Respect, Firms.
168 didn’t seem like a lot of runs, especially with
a short square boundary and considering that the hosts had
given everyone a bowl rather than relying on their key bowlers.
Two quick wickets courtesy of Foster the Younger gave the
purple-and-blacks some impetus, but in reality all this
served to do was bring Tas Valley’s star bat to the
crease, and from then on the result was never in doubt.
Having previously bowled with venom, Nick Francis was plundered
for sixes from the first three balls of his final over,
while the normally tight Handford went for 8 an over of
his three. Rankin eventually broke the deadlock with some
flight and guile, before Gareth Lloyd somehow picked up
2 for 7 off three overs, interspersed with such clangers
as “Firms, can you go to wide fine leg”. “Yeees,
Lloyd’s in to the cordon” while fielding at
point and “Get yerself in the covers, my son”
while pointing to midwicket. Special.
Tas Valley & Hethersett made it home with some 4 overs
to spare, but the Cavaliers weren’t too dispirited;
two more games, three nights, and an inordinate quantity
of food and alcohol lay in wait.
Man of the Match: Ellis Thorpe
Orange Cap of Shame (welcome back, unearthed at the bottom
of Ellis’ kit bag): Ellis Thorpe, for three run outs.
