Match
reports
Z
Weather:
Il fait bun
Location:
The Waltons Upon Thames
Pitch:
Nails
Tea:
pleasing in places, frugal in others
Old
Paulians played host to the 'Liers for this well-established
and good-natured fixture. James 'Bonecrusher' Hat, fresh
from catching the surf (The New Name For Herpes) in Croydon,
won the toss and erected to bat, to accommodate late-comers
(most of us). Collision-of-worlds opening pair Lloydy and
The Bonk took guard and faced a lively and accurate opening
attack. Despite the best of intentions, both perished for
single figures before the scorer's pencil had lost its freshly
sharpened point. Aaron Spelling, next in, provided some
Kiwi-based relief and showed why he is fast becoming known
as THE MAN WHO WILL ALWAYS GET TO TWENTY. He reached 21
with aplomb before being castled. It was a great surprise
when the next-in Go-At, as wise as a bird, was undone for
only three. Whither The Cavaliers now?
This
brought together VCRankin and Bugner, Devonians both. How
would they fare in the glaring soleil after their days of
beatch cricket and instant gratification? Well, well is
the answer. Hattage battled on in the bunnage like a youthful
Geoff Humpage. At the other end VHSrankin, interspersing
assured stroke play with some legside scampering as the
'chin music' grew louder, was growing in confidence and
lessening in hangover. Capin Jim was eventually caught for
an impressive 39. Thorpedo, for it is he, then made an important
15 before his love for Corrina caught up with him and he
dollied one to point. That only brought consistently surprisingly
tallman Brindo to the crease. Before you could say "yes,
we know he's tall", 'Hick' Brindley made 38 of the
most sweetly struck runs you could wish to see, with not
an inappropriate cross-batted shot amongst, and particularly
strong on the drive. Out off the penultimate ball (spot-on
Lloydy), this left Betamax Ben to crown his glory with a
big six off the final ball of the innings, leaving the Cavaliers
219-8 off the allotted 40, or 5.475 per over. Sweet as a
gnat.
A
tea of scones with barely a film of strawberry jam on them
inspired a sense of injustice in the Cavs that stirred them
to a man. Brindo opened from the Gaffney End and was immediately
turning their opener inside out as if he were Nadia's clock.
A succession of tropical banana outswingers led to a fingering
by their umpire, Virus John. Next over Timmy F's leg stump
half volley led to an EXCEPTIONAL cap-avoidance catch by
The Bonk at mid-on. Shorlty after this a fantastic DIRECT
HIT by El Bow gave the Cavs the advantage, which they never
relinquished. Giving their batmen little chance to settle
into Hotel Cavalier, bowlers and fielders alike ensured
that their stay was an uncomfortable one. With 'clipping
the outside of off-peg' the order of the day, James Hatwear,
VVS Brindo and The Go-At all managed stump nibblage. All
the while Shaun Roy was producing an 'Of the Rovers' display,
suring up one end with his spin-cum-cutters. A sharp catch
by the tranquil Rankin furrowed the opposition's collective
brow further. The Homenator, fielding in a cap more appropriate
for having it large than having it plumb in front, still
produced a spell of occurrence and activity that silenced
those who thought he was too exhausted from a weekend spent
introducing girls to Hat & El Bow. In the end, despite
a few anxiety-inducing overs of big hitting by the OP's
fifth wicket pairing, SNR steadied the Ship of Conviction,
bowling a final over befitting of a Jewish whip-round, and
that was that. A cavs victory; well-earned, hard-fought,
team-based and hyphen-ated. What-is-more, thoroughly deserved
- an outstanding result. It was decided that to present
the Orange Cap of Crud was to tarnish a great day for the
Cavs, so it was posted through Frase's letterbox at 10.38pm,
and back to its rightful owner.
MoM
- BCR, for an excellent 59*
Champagne
Moment - IVA Rankin's grandstand finish to the innings,
a towering six over long-on off his chin music pnemesis.
